• Question: Do I really sleep with my hand down my undies?
• Answer: I don't know because I'm asleep, but probably yes because I have been told this before.

• Question: Did I drug her or give her stuff to make her sleep?
• Answer: No! and I can prove it, as can her doctor and her counselor. She is a liar and has said this about other guys, it seems to be her way of justifying herself when she gets caught out, ask a certain colleague in Melbourne, she accused him of the same and guess what, the video footage doesn't show her drugged.

• Question: Did I really hate her family?
• Answer: Oh sure, that's why I spent a day at hospital with her parents when mum was having operations, I was there supporting dad when no other family member could/would. That's why I spent 7 years trying to fix the problems between them and why I went with Nicole to see her parents even though I knew they hated the very ground I walk on. I actually liked her family, her sister and kids in particular. Her brother was a bit of a stretch because of all the things Nicole has told me about him, but I tried. Ask her sister, her brother, her in-laws, did I ever seem as if I didn't like them!

• Question: Did I really look down on all her friends?
• Answer: Ask yourself that question as one of those friends, did I ever seem to you as if I looked down on you or as if I were putting on an act for you? Ok, there were one or two I didn't like but even then I tried to be nice, they didn't, I did.

• Question: Why didn't I report her if she really was physically abusing me?
• Answer: Because I loved her, she is a woman and she was angry, she didn't mean it, you don't have the person you love charged with assault.

• Question: Am I responsible for her father being rushed to hospital?
• Answer: I didn't sleep around, I didn't have video footage of me doing so, she does (by the way, if you want to view that footage I am told it is showing on www.ivortraksovitch.com, I haven't looked because I have no desire to sit through it again, but I am told by quite a few people it is there). All I did was post some home truths online, If she hadn't done these things then I would not have posted them. I didn't cause her father problems, she did!
  When I was told he had been rushed to hospital I was concerned about him, I called my doctor in Nowra and asked him to be there if needed. I bet she hasn't told you all the times I have been there for them, how much I have done to help them has she.

I ask this of the rest of you, please remember that I did not run off and jump into bed with my colleagues, I did not go sleep with 'friends' who could make my career better, I did not lie about my relationship or my marriage and I sure as hell didn't abuse my wife in any way at all, physically, mentally or emotionally. Remember also that I am the one with plates and screws in my wrist, I am the one with hospital and doctors records showing abuse, not her. I didn't want out of our marriage, she did. One more thing, I spent 15 years with Nicole, I was the one she talked to every single night when she came home from work, I am the one she told all the juicy stuff about colleagues, family and friends to. Why do you think she wants you turned away from me, why do you think she doesn't want you talking to me?

She is just like her mother!

You think she likes you don't you?

Yep, it's me seemingly going back on my word yet again and writing stuff about my ex wife, well sorry but sometimes you just need to let people know, well those who give a crap at least, the truth when all you hear is lies. So I am back.
I decided some time back that being the angry vengeful arsehole wasn't the right example to set for the boys now in my care, but you know what, being the loser who lets other people lie about him and saying nothing isn't a good role model either.

Lets set things straight from the start here.

• 1. I didn't leave her, she left me.
• 2. I didn't smash her wrist, she smashed mine.
• 3. I didn't physically abuse her over 10 years, she did that to me.
• 4. I didn't walk out and leave her with no job or income, she did that to me.
• 5. I didn't lie for 3 years while I committed adultery, she did.
• 6. I didn't lie to police and friends, she did that.
• 7. I didn't destroy her family or cause her father a heart attack, she did.
• 8. I didn't take out an AVO against my own parents, she did.
• 9. I didn't ruin her career, she ruined mine with an AVO that wasn't needed.
• 10. I didn't steal from her, she stole from me and was made to return my things.
• 11. I didn't accuse her of drugging me, she accused me, and others of that.
• 12. I didn't 'use her' to get what I wanted, she used me, for 15 years.
• 13. I don't have video online of me having sex with my colleagues, she does.
• 14. I don't have naked photo's on the Internet, she does.

I am tired of being the bad guy in this breakup, I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't ask for her to go have sex with several colleagues, I didn't ask her to lie to me, I didn't ask her to leave me, abuse me, ruin my security career, I didn't ask her to shut me out sexually and I sure as hell didn't ask her to use me as a taxi service for her lovers, but she did.

I did nothing wrong that I can see in the 17 years I knew and loved Nicole, in the 15 years we spent together and the 9 years we were married. I loved her, cared for her, helped her, encouraged her, taught her and changed my entire life for her, hell I gave up all my friends and almost lost my oldest daughter for her.

I do not for a single instant believe that I deserved to be treated the way she has treated, and continues to treat me, with contempt.

Ok, so on December 16 2007 I made a huge mistake when I accidentally hit her with the sharp end of my electric guitar, but it WAS an accident and I panicked for reasons that should be fairly obvious, she had walked out on me, left me broke, in debt and with no reasonable explanation at all, so I wasn't exactly happy. Who the hell was going to believe a 1cm cut to her head was an accident right?

I panicked and I shouldn't have but at the time I really did not remember what had happened, I was in physical pain, drugged up to hell and back with pain killers and anti cancer crap.

Anyway, long story short it took Nicole until the next day, and required the encouragement of a 'friend' (wink wink), to go to police and lay assault charges against me (charges incidentally which were not upheld), during which she lied a lot and left out rather important facts such as me telling her I had hit her with the guitar accidentally, nor did she tell the truth about what happened in the hours following the incident. What she did do was her job, after all she is a journalist and knows what to leave in and what to leave out to make a story more interesting. I am thankful to the police officers who interviewed me and realised there was no deliberate assault, rather an accident and confusion.

So, if you think I should be held accountable for that mistake then so be it, I accept that criticism willingly, but I will not sit back and allow this woman to continually lie and blacken my name without hitting back, regardless of the consequences.

Nicole Louise Manktelow is a liar, a cheat, an adulteress and a class A bitch who will do the very same thing to the next poor sucker who thinks she loves him/her as she did to me, as soon as his/her 'best before date' expires .

Do I want to reconcile with her? Not a chance in hell, I hope Nicole falls off the face of the earth and stays there and I hope she takes our so called friends with her, they would be the ones who haven't even bothered to ask me what happened, they just take her word, dumb! oh, and shows what kind of people they are.

If I am to face some kind of legal action because she feels this blog is a breach of the AVO she very excitedly and willingly had brought against me then so be it, I no longer give a shit because I am sick and frigging tired of being told by people that I should have treated her better, that I should let her get on with her life, that I should leave her alone, that I should not have abused her, that I was 'too old for her', well go fcuk yourselves, she knew about the age difference, she accepted it, she knew the possibilities and she promised to be honest and stay true, she married me for gods sake in front of those same dumb people she calls friends, some of whom she then slept with I might add (probably why they stick with her). Don't come the crap about age differences with me, I helped her get where she is today and if you don't believe me then ask somebody who knew us since we arrived in Sydney, ask those people who 'really' know us, you don't have to believe me.

I didn't bloody well abuse her, I didn't bloody well do anything to her and I wish the hell she would just disappear. I have no wish or desire to see/speak/talk to/be with/be near/communicate with/touch or have anything to do with her ever again.

All I want now is for her to piss off out of my life and stop lying through her increasingly large arse about me. She has to date alienated from me almost every friend we had with her bullshit and crap, the only people who have remained my friends are those who actually know the truth about us, who have known us for the full 15 years we were together. These people can see through her facade, it's a crying shame those other people can't.

For the record, I actually liked and respected most of the friends we shared, or at least I thought we shared. It seems that respect and admiration was one sided.

I'm a bastard of a bloke, just ask anybody who actually knows me .